Before you look away and say, “Mom, I don’t wanna read this crap!  There is no way anyone without bipolar disorder can tell you what it’s like!” I have bipolar disorder.  My name is George McNulty and I was diagnosed after twelve horrifying years, much of which I don’t remember because I was so ill.  Here is what I do remember.  I was terrified all of the time!  New experiences frightened me to the point of being incapacitated.  I couldn’t go places because I was afraid I was going to die or someone was going to hurt my family.   When I was very small, one of my few memories is getting into our car from the babysitter’s and pinching my Mom’s cheek saying, “Are you my real Mom?”  I was awkward in social situations and never could really make friends.  I was always afraid I was going to screw it up… and I did.  But I didn’t mean to.

Notice I said “Was.” I now take ketamine and am no longer frightened by such simple tasks as getting on a subway. I now can go into New York City by myself and walk around, enjoy a beautiful day, see a movie only playing in Greenwich Village.  I go to work and I am not second guessing myself.  “Oh did I cut that right?” NO!  NO MORE!  NO MORE WORRYING!   I feel like an everyday person in the sense that I’m not always afraid.   I have what I believe the everyday person would deal with, as far as nerves go.  I don’t worry about my family dying.  At some point, everyone dies.  It is time to enjoy the time I have NOW.  Now, I know this might sound like it’s too good to be true, but the fact of the matter is ketamine is real.  It is here and it has drastically changed what was a miserable life, into a happy one.  Do I still get mad?  Yeah, but don’t we all?  I get mad, but I don’t throw things.  I don’t get into fights.   I get “normal” person angry… whatever “normal” is.  I hope people take the time to sit and read this because Kktamine can save your life.

All My Best!

And may the suffering from this illness end.

-George McNulty,  age 21