This was a lovely New Year’s gift to me from C. who I had seen since age 8 now age 18.
Several weeks into the ketamine treatment the fear sensitization and anger tempered, and she was able to reflect without negative bias about herself and appreciate the world outside of the bubble of anger, self-blame and fear that these children are surrounded and emotionally entombed by. What a gift.
On Jan 04, 2012, at 05:40 AM, C. wrote:Hi Dr. Papolos,The most incredible thing just happened to me.. for the first time ever I was able to cry about this past year and feel good at the same time. I started to cry because my mom and I were talking about everything that has happened this year and usually when this past year is brought up I would smile and laugh about it. But then I was able to really talk about it. I talked about how awful this year was but it didn’t make me feel angry or anxious. I actually felt really relieved and content. Like I’m ready to move on and begin fresh with the new year.I can’t begin to describe how happy I am. I did it! I pushed through all of it. There were so many times when I was in a mixed state and I thought I was going to kill myself. I did so many things this year that should have killed me. Thank you for helping me through this. I’m in such a good place now. And none of this was my fault and I’m really realizing that now. I can’t blame myself for this. This is seriously a miracle. I thought I was going to be stuck the way I was and end up killing myself. But thanks to your help and the support of my parents, I am feeling the best I’ve ever felt. Thank you for everything.C.